i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
