I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I believe in your delicious
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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