went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
