babies were throwing up all over the place
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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