Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
