so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
