I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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