i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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