Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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