Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
