it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
