he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
