I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
