I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
