i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just forgot I was standing up.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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