No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
