week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
