Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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