tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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