it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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