i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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