I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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