I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
