i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
