i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
