Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
