kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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