My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
