im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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