Christians are straight up FREAKS
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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