He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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