Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
