i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
