Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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