We won't sleep together?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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