he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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