that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
