so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
