A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
