butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
