dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
