You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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