David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
