also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
