I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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