BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
