My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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