is your mom at the bar?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
