all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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