Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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