He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
